People often talk about the challenges and struggles of becoming an adoptive parent. Too often they forget the emotional pain and sacrifice the birth parents endure. Without the generosity and love of these people there would be much fewer happy adoptive families. A positive adoption experience is one where everyone is appreciated, respected and their needs are met. It is a time that is rife with mixed emotions and it must be handled professionally to avoid any regrets. The birthparent adoption process must begin with a plan because there is much more to the decision than just handing over a baby. The birth parents have a number of different options to consider.

Who would the perfect birth parents be? Some birthparents prefer a certain age group, income status or a family that follows a specific religion.

Birth parents have some control over the contact they have with the child after the adoption. Some may want the records to be sealed and others want to receive regular updates.

What is the role of the adoptive parents during the pregnancy? It is not uncommon for adoptive parents to attend appointments and be available for the birth.

Who will attend the birth? Will the birth father or the adoptive parents be allowed in the delivery room? Will other friends or family of the birth mother be in attendance?


How soon after birth will the adoptive parents take custody of the child? Some birth mothers are more comfortable with the surrendering the child at the hospital and others may wish to wait a few days or a week or two.

Who will cover the pregnancy-related medical expenses? During the private adoption process, it is not unusual for the adoptive parents to pay these costs. It is often necessary when the birth mother is young or lacks the financial ability to pay for the care.

Every decision is important during this process and it is easier to remember all of the details when an experienced adoption service is involved. Anyone that chooses a private adoption instead of working with an agency should understand their rights and be clear about their expectations for the living standards they prefer for their child. It is also important to seek assistance if anyone attempts to pressure or hurry the birth parents into making decisions or fails to agree to specific, reasonable requests.